I Believe In Kindness

I’m going to be quite frank for a moment here.  Things have been weighing me down.  The heaviness of recent things I’ve witnessed, been part of, and have heard leave me feeling downtrodden and saddened.

I think we’ve forgotten about kindness.

Recent events in our little circles have thrown person against person.  People in different camps have raised up the battle cry, raised the flags of who they are aligned with, what camp of creativity or knowledge they belong to.  I feel like I’m the silent person in the middle ground, trying to wave a white flag.  But in all the fastness of live, no one seems to stop and come to terms, or outreach hands, before we are on to the latest thing, and again the fortresses go up, and people are pitted one against the other.

Here’s the thing.  Wind a daisy chain ’round my hair, and let me sing “Kumbaya”, but I really just want to be friends with people in all the different fortresses.  I want to listen to what you say, and what they say, and chose for myself what I want WITH NO HARD FEELING TO ANYONE.  I can learn something from everyone- whether they’ve been sewing for one year or thirty.  There’s always more to learn and see and do.

Our world is so small.  Sure, there may be thousands in it- in our historical costuming world- in our vintage world.  But it’s so small that nearly everyone is friends with someone else.  And words can sting so badly when they’re about us or someone who we hold dear.  Why must we chose sides?

I’m tired.  I have no energy for fights, and the weight of seeing all the opposition makes my soul and heart hurt.

I have a plea.  Can we please just remember to be kind?  Hear the other person out. Make your choices.  But we don’t need to be mean in standing our ground.

If you want to make a head to toe hand sewn period gown using only period appropriate fabrics, I applaud your research and dedication.  If you want to make a gown inspired by history and incorporating your own art and techniques in modern fabrics, I applaud your creativity.

If you wear vintage with modern, if you mix eras, or if you do head to toe period accurate, I can find something to be inspired by in what you’ve done.

If you believe people should be allowed in museums in costumes, or if you believe people should not expect to be allowed, can we still get along.

Let’s find the common ground and chose to see the good.  Let’s open up the conversation in a polite way.  We all have things to learn from each other.

I slip.  We all do.  We say and do things we regret.  But regroup, move on, and try to believe that we can accomplish much good.  And if someone believes something differently than you do- well- live and let live.  Take a deep breath, and just keep doing your thing because you LOVE it.

If I have to chose a camp to belong to, I believe in the camp of kindness.

Love, passion, and kindness never go out of style.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7


8 Comments on I Believe In Kindness

  1. Helen Kotowske
    March 11, 2018 at 12:58 pm (6 years ago)

    Excellent. Classic phrases, Bible verses, battlecries,….like “never give up”, “Keep your head up”…and one from any unlikely character, Rodney King, ” Why can’t we all get along.” It actually fits this situation. Another would be “Do into others…” The one tgat popped into my head first was, “Live and let live.” During the last election I decided to make some effort to understand people with views opposite of mine. People I had something I like but we are radical different politically. I am glad I did. We just talk a lot if politics and focus on our similarities. Old song I keep thinking of: You’ve got to accent the positive, eliminate the negative, and don’t mess with Mr. In Between.”

    • Helen Kotowske
      March 11, 2018 at 1:08 pm (6 years ago)

      Lot of spelling errors, but for clarity I will fix…we just talk about a lot of other things and focus on our similiarities.

  2. Shawn Curry Androski
    March 11, 2018 at 4:41 pm (6 years ago)

    I got into historical costuming while researching for a steampunk gathering. It’s so Cool! Yet, while I’ve yet to attend my first historical event, I’m discouraged in going because there is a noticeable amount of judgment going on in the facebook groups ive joined.

    While they are amazing sewing resources and full of incredibly knowledgeable people, I’m not sure I would enjoy doing all that work and being whispered about because something was “off” in my creation. I’ve put my machine away for a while to think it over. I hope things settle down.

  3. Linda
    March 11, 2018 at 5:43 pm (6 years ago)

    Never put your machine away! Sew for yourself, your imagination, your creative spirit. It is yours alone. Cherish it.

  4. Cate
    March 12, 2018 at 4:59 am (6 years ago)

    Well said! Any craft or passion should be done for one reason and on reason alone, because of what YOU get out of it. It doesn’t matter what other people get out of it, because it will always be different from what you feel.

    I go down the more authentic route because I love the research and detective side of things. It make my heart sing just as much as the sewing, crocheting or whatever craft I choose at that point. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate someone who makes vintage style clothes in modern fabrics using modern patterns. That’s their choice, their passion and it makes them happy. Good on ’em for doing it! Sewing and the knowledge of historical fashion are both dying arts, so why make it harder for people to enjoy doing it.

  5. JoAnn Peterson
    March 12, 2018 at 6:24 am (6 years ago)

    It just keeps getting worse. Good for you to try to be a peace maker but good luck with that. I’m fed up. I’m off to greener pastures.

  6. Rhonda L Russell
    March 12, 2018 at 1:30 pm (6 years ago)

    It is a shame that a few bad apples spoil the other apples. I’ve learned to grow a thick skin because no matter what you choose to do, there will always those people who feel the need to criticize others to make themselves feel superior. We should all be showing more kindness to each other. I’ve learned to show them the kindness they have chosen not to show to me and just keep doing what I enjoy doing. As soon as they realize that their criticism doesn’t affect me nor change me, they have lost their power over me and no longer feel superior. They then move on to another “victim.”

  7. Kimberlee Doyle
    March 12, 2018 at 5:21 pm (6 years ago)

    Thank you for sharing your insight and commen sense.

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